Bite Me!

I just want to say a big goodbye to all my readers, and to say thank you for all your comments and support!  I'll be taking an indefinite leave from this blog due to other commitments, but you can catch up with me at my new blog which will cover all my current writing projects and more.

I really hope you've enjoyed reading about my life in food as much as I've enjoyed writing and eating it.  Keep cooking!

I've had a truly stupendous bean harvest this year - my only problem is, what to do with them all?  They're sitting in the fridge looking reproachfully at me as I fail to make any headway into the bean stockpile.  Any recipes gratefully received...

I don't really have much to say about strawberries, but I love this picture - aren't they RED?  Mmm.

You know how it is – you’re lying around in the garden, talking about cake... and suddenly YOU MUST HAVE CAKE.  This is the result of that conversation.  Chocolate sponge with a mint butter icing.  I was merely the sous-chef on this project, bowing to my housemate’s superior baking knowledge, but when I’ve wheedled the recipe out of her I’ll stick it up here for you all to enjoy. 

I received Ottolenghi’s Plenty for Christmas last year and this is without a doubt one of my favourite recipes from it.  The garlic is parboiled then caramelised in a balsamic reduction until it’s sweet and soft and totally moreish.  I’m a massive garlic fan and I love being able to stuff quite so much of it into one dish without it being too pungent.  The day someone invents non-smelling garlic I am there, I tell ya.

I love it when summer finally arrives, and I can eat British salad to my heart’s content, without having to worry about carbon footprints or desertification or polytunnels or any of those other unpleasant factors involved in the eating of vegetables out of season.  My great lunch stand-by for work has to be the ready-made Caesar salad in a bag – yes, those overpriced ones with all the fiddly little sachets.  Add some Quorn roasted chicken fillets and you’ve got an instant meal that’s perfect in hot weather.  No, it’s not exactly gourmet eating but I don’t care. 

When I’m at home, however, my go-to salad is quite different.  The basic ingredients are lettuce (gem or round, not iceberg) and lots of capers, with a dressing of lemon juice, olive oil and salt.  I’m quite happy just eating this, but I often supplement with whatever I’ve got in the fridge at the time – normally cherry tomatoes, cucumber, onion or spring onion and spinach.  If I’m feeling particularly adventurous (or have just been shopping and have a well-stocked fridge) then I like to add olives, avocado, green pepper and sunblush tomatoes. Herbs from the garden also help to pep things up – basil, mint and chives are all good.  I can eat bucketloads of this stuff (and frequently do!)

When the weather’s as hot and sticky as it has been here in London recently, a person’s thoughts lightly turn to thoughts of ICE-CREAM.  Now, I’m a big fan of ye olde supermarket special soft scoop for £2 a litre, but sometimes a lady wants something a little more... refined.  And so to Gino Gelato, purveyors of what is surely some of the finest sorbet in the whole of London Town.  All their ice-cream is made in-store, and it’s fresh every day.  The staff are lovely and let you try different flavours before you buy (which is just as well as it’s not cheap – £3.80 for a double scoop, though the scoops are big).  On this latest trip I tried raspberry and merlot sorbet, coffee gelato, and almond and orange blossom gelato before plumping for fruits of the forest teamed with watermelon and vodka sorbet.  Delicious.  So if you’re in Touristville (aka Trafalgar Square) this summer and get bored of dodging mimes and tour groups, go get yourself some gelato.  It’s cool.

Gino Gelato, 3 Adelaide Street, London WC2N 4HZ

I'm a big fan of savory baking so I made these goat's cheese, rosemary and sundried tomato muffins recently and they turned out rather well.  I actually deviated from the recipe slightly and made half with smoked cheddar instead of the goat's cheese, just for variety.  They turned out a trifle heavy, but I might put that down to my over-enthusiastic mixing rather than the recipe; I suspect they may need a light hand.  Still, they all got eaten in short order.  These are best served warm with a dollop of butter.

You've probably heard it said that with food, presentation is everything.  Now, while this is manifestly untrue (taste has to count for something, right?) I definitely enjoy having something pretty on my plate.  And if you're making a beautiful meal, why stop at the table?  Why not go the whole hog and make your surroundings spectacular too? Recently, I've been lucky enough to eat in some of the capital's most beautiful dining rooms; perhaps unsurprisingly, it seems that if you're after a feast for the eyes as well as the palate, London's art galleries could be the way to go...

First stop was the restaurant at the Royal Academy of Arts, which was recently relaunched by Peyton and Byrne.  I must confess that I didn't actually try the food here, but it's a lovely grand, elegant place to pop into for a glass of wine, with a suitably ambitious-looking menu.  I've no doubt this will be the scene for many a corporate event this summer.

 Next on the list is the V&A's well-known cafe (pictures top and below).  The Morris, Gamble and Poynter rooms form what was apparently the world's first museum restaurant and are just as much worth looking at as any of the objects d'art exhibited elsewhere in the museum, with their beautifully tiled walls and exquisite decor.  The food is cheap, and good quality - I had a goats cheese baguette with proper, chewy french bread for somewhere around the £5 mark.  Definitely worth a visit even if only for a cup of tea.

And last, but not least, was a dinner somewhere quite special - in amongst the paintings of the National Portrait Gallery.  This was a corporate event that I was helping out with, so we were privileged enough to get our own private room, in amongst the Stuarts.  And let's face it - who, among their dinner guests, wouldn't like to count King Charles II, Nell Gwynne, and the Earl of Rochester?  Although next time, maybe the Earl can leave his monkey at home...

Working opposite a Holland and Barratt may be doing my bank balance no good at all (why are ‘health’ foods so expensive?) but it’s certainly broadening my knowledge of exciting vegetarian and vegan foodstuffs.  I say foodstuffs rather than food, because I’m not sure what’s actually in all of the things I’ve been trying.  As I’ve mentioned before, it’s rare to actually find healthy food in a health food shop, and the vegetarian specialties certainly win the prize for the most incomprehensible ingredient lists (maltodextrin and carrageenan gum, anyone?)  Still, I’m not one to let a strange ingredient stand in my way.  Here, for your delectation, are my favourite discoveries so far:

1. Gin Gins and Ginger Chews from The Ginger People.  The Gin Gins are small, ginger flavoured boiled sweets with a good flavour and a certain amount of heat.  The real treats, though, are the Ginger Chews, which are basically like extremely hot, chewy chunks of ginger-flavoured Turkish delight, complete with a dusting of icing sugar.  They are AMAZING.  Sadly you only get about 12 per box, bringing them to the bargain price of about 12p each, which seems like rather a lot to me.  Apparently you can also melt both kinds of sweet into boiling water to create a ginger drink, thus placing them into the same category, unlikely though it seems, as Marmite and Marigold stock powder.  I may have to do a hot drink taste test soon.
2. Redwood’s Cheatin’ Chorizo Style Chunks.  OK, so the name leaves something to be desired (chunks?  What is this, dogfood?) but I had a burning desire for a meaty, smoky, tomato & chickpea-y stew a few weeks ago which gave me a good excuse to try them out.  To make the stew I fried up some onions with cumin, smoked paprika, star anise and garlic, then added chopped tomatoes, tomato puree, chopped butternut squash, a tin of chickpeas and the chorizo chunks.  I let this stew for about half an hour and then served with mashed potato on the side.  Delicious.  I think it would be improved by the addition of some spinach at the last minute; might try that next time.
3. Kallo Organic Savoury Rice Cakes with Yeast Extract.  Crisp mouthfuls of marmitey deliciousness.  Best eaten with…
4. Tofutti Creamy Smooth with Garlic & Herbs.  I know I have said in the past that all vegan cheese is wrong and should be avoided.  I hereby retract that statement.  This stuff is good.

I was in the mood for celebration last week after FINALLY finding somewhere to live (take that, rival house-hunters!)  In this frame of mind I decided to eschew the grubby-floored pubs of my future 'hood, (Whitechapel, innit) and sailed off to the grubbier end of Oxford Street and the shiny beacon to over-consumption that is Selfridges.  There I met my sister and her friend, on a mid-term 'holiday' from university.  Since they were already two cocktails down (at 1pm) we decided that obviously, what was needed was more booze, and headed straight for the Wonder Bar. 

Now, given the name, you might be expecting this bar to be fairly breathtaking, and possibly covered with Swarovski crystals in the manner of Victoria Beckham's mobile phone.  You'd be disappointed.  The bar takes its name from the Wonder Room, which it used to overlook; it now overlooks the alcohol section, which seems apt, if rather less exciting.  The decor's not hideous or anything - in fact, I don't really remember much about it, so it obviously didn't offend my delicate sensibilities.  There's rather a lot of perspex, a long bar, and some snugger tables down by the windows in case you'd rather watch people than fancy liqueurs.

I don't really know much about wine, but the wine list here seemed fairly comprehensive, and all the wines we tried were perfectly chilled and very nice.  The food menu is short but sweet; I went for the waldorf salad which was relatively good value at around a fiver.  It came nicely presented, piled high in a small bowl, and served on a chopping board with bread and butter.  It proved surprisingly difficult to eat, though.  The chopping board got in the way rather, and the bowl was so small that I kept dropping bits of salad all over the place.  Perhaps that's why they serve it on a board, although they could have gone for the less poncy option and just served it on a plate.  Anyway, it tasted good, and if you're a neater eater than me I expect you could finish it off without splattering yourself with salad dressing in the process.  After finishing our wine, we couldn't resist the lure of the alcohol section we'd been staring at for an hour, and tottered down to investigate the selection.  And as soon as I save up enough money to buy that lychee liqueur, I'll give you a cocktail recipe to remember...

The Wonder Bar, Selfridges, 400 Oxford Street, London W1A 1AB

I made these great banana pancakes the other day.  Actually, that’s not strictly true.  What happened is that my sister made them and I stood next to her putting the bananas in (the fun bit).  They’re American-style pancakes, which means (for those unfortunate enough never to have tried them) that they are fat and squidgy and fluffy instead of thin and floppy.  They’re best made as small pancakes, i.e. three to a normal-sized frying pan, because if you try and flip a large one... well, actually I’ve never tried doing that, but I don’t think it would work.  Also, they’re very filling and I’d feel like a bit of a pig eating a big one, whereas if you make lots of little ones you can scoff the lot without looking bad. 

We did make a couple of changes to the recipe – for the flour we used part plain, part wholemeal, and we added blueberries to the pancakes as well as bananas, which worked well.  For frying, I would recommend part butter, part oil (to stop the butter burning).  Serve with maple syrup and strawberries. 

I have a tendency to forget that health food shops actually sell food, and then every so often I'll wander into one and remember how much I love them.  I can happily spend a considerable amount of time wandering around and gazing in awe at the plethora of bizarre and wonderful foodstuffs available.  There are, however, a couple of things about health food shops that it is wise to know.  Firstly, you need to disabuse yourself of the notion that the food is in any way healthy.  Nuts are good for you, yes, but not when consumed by the kilogram and covered with a yoghurt coating.  Sugar-free sweets may be better for your figure, but swapping sugar for possibly carcinogenic weirdo chemicals may not be a smart strategy in the long run.  And biscuits are still unhealthy even if they’re made with carob chips and spelt flour.

Secondly, try and remember that herbal tea ALWAYS SMELLS BETTER THAN IT TASTES.  This will stop you spending a fortune on exciting-looking mango and lemon revitalising teabags that actually taste of hot water that someone waved a lemon over. 

Thirdly, stay AWAY from the vegan cheese.  I’ve spoken about this before, but it’s a message that needs repeating.

Anyhoo, when forewarned and forearmed with my words of wisdom, you are now free to wander the aisles of your local Holland & Barrett and discover the thing of beauty that is... the liquorice aisle.  Liquorice seems to be entering something of a boom period in health food shops at the moment.  Time was when liquorice lovers had to content themselves with a tiny display of Panda bars; no more.  You can hardly walk into a health food shop these days without tripping over great mounds of Australian soft liquorice and the like.  Don’t ask me why; I’d like to think it’s because more people are turning towards the dark lord of sticky treats and realising what a void they have in their lives without it.  Whatever the reason, I’m immensely grateful as it’s given me the opportunity to investigate a whole new world of treacly loveliness, and allowed me to make the acquaintance of RJ’s licorice logs.  They do different flavours – the plain liquorice is the softest that I’ve found, almost like Turkish delight in consistency, and the chocolate-filled logs are BRILLIANT.  I know the thought of chocolate mixed with liquorice is an odd one, but trust me, it works.  And it helps that the chocolate they use is proper chocolate, not that weird chocolate-flavoured candy stuff that tastes like mud.

Go forth and buy some.  You won’t regret it.

... I had to show you these brilliant biscuits that my sister made.  They're C-shaped!  For Christmas!  And Christina!  (who she actually made them for).  And... um... other fun things beginning with C!

What I say is, nothing makes a party like a cheese and pineapple hedgehog, and a king prawn ring.  And a statue of Jesus as a table decoration, obviously.